Visit to Dad
by Zoja
Summary: Twenty years after "Fair Winds and Following Seas" Harm pays a visit to his Dad at the Vietnam Memorial.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own JAG or any character you can recognize from it.

**A/N:**I have no idea where did this one-shot come from, but the idea just appeared in my head some time ago. Well, I hope you're going to like it. And, thanks to _byrhthelm_ for correcting my mistakes.

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Hello Dad. Can you believe, that there has been twenty years since I last visited you? It seems unbelievable, considering that when I was living in DC, I came here at least once a year. However, there can be no doubt that it's true.

If you look down at me sometimes, you know that my life since that moment has really changed. I started to look at a lot of things very differently than I did back then. Even the way I make decisions now is a bit different. Beforehand, every time I faced the necessity of making a choice I was wondered which of the choices would make you and mom, but especially you, proud of me. Now I know that being proud of a child isn't a matter of them fulfilling our expectations, but if the way they live looks like it is making them happy. That's why I think that when it comes to me, you can boast with pride.

Do you remember Mattie? The young girl I was taking care of, who then went to live with her father but he disappeared from the picture after her accident? I officially became her guardian and she came to live with me. Despite the odds she made an almost complete recovery from her injuries; not that I didn't believe she would, but the doctors said that they didn't expect her to heal so well. She is now walking completely by herself, well mostly, because when one of her legs get tired she starts to limp and she needs to use a walking stick. But I think it's still a wonderful thing that it looks like that.

I can't believe that in a few years she's going to be forty. Honestly, there is nothing making me feel so old than the realisation that I met her so many years ago. But she has a wonderful life now; she's got a terrific husband, for whom she, and their three kids, are his whole world. The oldest, and the only boy, is Harm, and I have to admit that I actually cried when she told me she wanted to name her first born after me. Then, there are twin girls – Samantha and Julia. They aren't identical, but they're both spitting images of their mommy, only Julia has her father's eyes. But, her family isn't her only success in life. When she started to write after her accident, just to have something to do, she didn't suspect that she would end up writing for a living. But then she studied journalism, and after she finished, she worked for a very good newspaper. Now, her articles are read all over the country, and people admit to buying the whole newspaper only to read her work. She's happy because of that, but she also admits to be lucky that only her name and writing is famous; she really avoids the attention and up until now, she has had no problems with it.

But I guess you'd like to hear about me, too. On my last evening here, in DC, my life took the most unexpected turn. Unexpected, but a turn I had only dared to dream it might take one day. Everything really started when Mac came to my flat, because she wanted to say goodbye. It was few days earlier that we had both been handed new orders, and it was only at the very last minute that we actually decided to talk about it. She was being transferred to San Diego, while I was expected to go to London; there were going to be over five thousand miles between us and it could be the last time I would ever see her. At that moment we still had twelve hours and deep in my heart I knew that if I didn't do something, I could forget any dreams about ever being with this woman, who I loved more than anyone else. And I did – I proposed. Yes, just like that, out of the blue; without preparation, without any special atmosphere, without a ring. She said yes, but we wouldn't be us if there wasn't anything standing between us. This time, this thing was our careers. Though we weren't going to be in the same chain of command anymore, the distance that would be between us wouldn't give us the slightest chance of creating a real relationship, let alone marriage.

It was then, that I did something, what is probably the stupidest thing I have ever made – I suggested the coin toss. When I think about it now I wonder, how could we be so stupid and give our lives to the fate this way? Yes, it was the fairest way, the most equitable way, but the decision to give up a good career, and almost _everything _wasn't something to throw away just like that, on the result of a coin toss. Well, it was Mac who lost, and we went to London. Even though I never heard her complaining about giving up the Marines, I knew that it was hard for her being out of the service. Yet that same year we got married. Neither Mac nor I wanted to have a big wedding, so it wasn't a huge ceremony. A lot of our friends told us that we had made a mistake with this, but I don't think so. That day was one of the most wonderful ones in my entire life.

People say that the first years of marriage are the most difficult ones, and there is no way I can disagree with that belief, and it was a miracle that we stayed together. In addition to the problems all newly married couples face, there was also the knowledge that we may never have our own children. We decided to try for them from the very beginning. It wasn't easy and I saw that what we read from many sources is really true – that trying without success really brings even more difficulties to the relationship. Indeed as time went on with the monthly confirmation of lack of success we didn't even speak about it. Mac usually went to the bedroom and I always made sure not to join her before she was asleep. Only once, the very first time, I went to her and it all finished with a fight. Since that occasion I never made the same mistake again.

After few years we practically lost all hope that it was ever going to happen. It was a taboo topic between us, and we avoided it as much as only possible. Things finally got to the stage that we barely talked to each other; we focused on our work and the days when I voluntarily took a case so I didn't have to come back home early, weren't so rare. Mac did much the same; she worked as an attorney for a law firm and often stayed in the office long after her theoretical work hours. It was a little over three years after we came to London that we got to know that our miracle had happened.

It's hard to describe the happiness we felt when we saw the shape of our child on the ultrasound. We both cried, and I think in that moment we were the happiest people in the world. I remember holding Mac in my arms, when she cried in disbelief after we came back home. I knew that she had lost her hope way earlier than I did. But, even though it was there, I can't say that Mac's pregnancy was easy. At first she had a terrible morning sickness, but the doctor also told her to rest as much as possible, and it was making her frustrated. She wasn't a person who could lie still for long, and it was clearly visible then. I remember how Mattie was outdoing herself to find new things for her to do, by herself or with us. It was then that she became really close with Mac; yes, they befriended and all earlier, but only then the special bond was created between them.

There were few difficult moments, when Mac landed in the hospital, but the doctor said it wasn't her fault. She still blamed herself, but it was the reason why she didn't object when he decided to make her stay in the hospital until the birth. Everybody knew that there was a huge chance of the baby being born prematurely, but they wanted it to stay in Mac's body as long as possible for its own sake. It was born a month and a half before the due date, what the doctors considered a huge success. Still, I remember the heart attack I almost had when they called me at work to inform me that Mac was in labour. Our baby girl was born on the 23rd of February 2009; right up to the moment of the birth we had no idea if we were going to have a daughter or a son. We both agreed that it didn't matter, that the most important thing for it was to be healthy. Not like we would love it any less if it wasn't, but in the end our daughter turned out to be absolutely perfect. Abigail Patricia, but we all tenderly call her Gaila. She was our whole world since the very first moment we held her in our arms; Mac said she had me wrapped around her little finger the moment she looked into my eyes, and I can't disagree.

Since the very beginning, she had a truly wonderful personality. She was very calm, polite, she rarely cried and even when she had learned to walk and run, she preferred to sit in one place in the company of her favourite teddy bear, and play with her toys. Mom said she had to inherit this trait after Mac, because I had been an unruly child, but Mac's uncle always claimed that Mac was a very lively girl who loved company. Gaila, on the other hand, was also very shy and when there were people in our house, she always clung to me or Mac. It's something that has never changed; even now, that's she's almost seventeen, she's shy and feels uncomfortable with strangers. But she's a clever and beautiful girl nonetheless, even with my looks and Mac's brain.

It was when she was a little over a year old, that we got the biggest surprise, which we would have never expected. During aroutine check-up at the doctor's, we found out that Mac was pregnant again. After what she had gone through to get pregnant with Gaila, even her doctor was thunderstruck that now she not only got pregnant again so soon, but without any medical intervention. This second pregnancy was much easier for Mac, but of course, it was better to take precautions. Mac was told to rest, and with Abigail's wonderful personality, it was really possible. I know that Gaila loved spending so much time with her mommy.

We waited for this baby as impatiently as for Abigail, although it didn't seem to be in any rush, and was born almost a week after the due date, on the 7th of July 2011. It was a big, healthy boy, who we decided to name Timothy Matthew. He was, and still is, his sister's completely opposite, not only in looks but in character. Only after he was born we got to know what real tiredness mean. And as he grew, he often gave us little heart attacks, often getting into trouble. But it's not like anyone could be mad at him for long.

Eight years after coming to London, we went back to the States. I had been transferred to Florida, which wasn't the location of my dreams, because there was still a huge distance between us and Mac and Frank, and also grandmother. Grams actually came to live with us; she insisted that she felt fine and was very well living on the farm by herself, but we didn't want her to live alone. Now she cherishes that she allowed us to persuade her. When I look at her, I can't believe she celebrated her one hundredth birthday last year. Even though her legs start to give her problems, she still feels good and is full of energy. And something she loves the most is spending time in the kitchen with Gaila, showing her all of the family recipes, and everything she always thought she'd do with her daughter. She had to wait two generations, but she finally got the girl to share everything with, and one who really loved to gain this knowledge.

We liked Florida, but not as much as we liked our house in London. But it had its advantages, and the main was the climate. We have been living there for a few years and now we're coming back to DC as I've been selected to be the new JAG. I was actually thinking about retiring and we even planned to move to the farm, which we haven't sold, but Mac and I agreed that maybe allowing them to persuade me to stay in the Navy for a little longer wasn't such a bad idea. I am an Admiral now; who would have thought that I'd make it to this rank when I first joined the Navy?

But, of course, our life wasn't completely blissful. Three years ago Mom and Frank died in the car accident. Well, I'm sure you know that even if you can't watch us, because you probably met Mom again now. Anyway, it was when Gaila and Timmy were spending holidays with them, and they were coming back from the amusement park. Our children were lucky to survive; we immediately went to California, and even though we felt huge relief when doctor informed us that they were as fine as possible, we couldn't be completely happy. It was a very hard period for us, when they were still in the hospital and also when they were released from it. They both felt very guilty, because they asked to go to this park for a long time. It was difficult to convince them that it wasn't their fault, especially that they were also very sad. They loved Mom and Frank really much, and absolutely loved to spend time with them, just like they loved to be with Gaila and Timmy.

When I look at them, they're the biggest evidence of how much time has passed. They're teenagers now, and my little girl is going to be an adult in a little more than a year. But I can't feel anything else but pride when I look at them, at two wonderful young people. I always thought that I was going to be an overprotective dad, especially when my little girl became old enough to be noticed by boys. But now, that she's a beautiful girl and I can see a lot of boys around her, I'm not at all worried. I know her well enough to know that I have nothing to be concerned about. She's very responsible, but also a little too mature for her age; and, when it comes to dating, she states she's going to become single all her life, or at least until she finds a guy who isn't going to act like a huge baby. She's clever and shy, but still very popular; in her previous school she was elected School President. She wants to study medicine, but says that if she's not accepted, she'll become a paleontologist, as she shares her mom's biggest hobby. Timmy, on the other hand, is much different. We get phone calls that he's in trouble again, or sometimes even get summoned to the school. All of this because he's a joker, and doesn't like too much routine. He's still a good boy, and practically always gets away with everything. Mac says it can be due to his charm; he looks like her, but everyone say that he still has a Rabb smile. He loves to fly and wants to maintain a family tradition by becoming a Navy aviator. I'm sure you can guess how happy Grandma is because of it.

Well, it seems that it's time for me to go. So to summarise, that's what is new. I still believe that you know it all, but I still like to tell you how I feel about everything. Today I came alone, but I plan to bring Gaila and Timmy here. We're here for weeks, but I wanted to come here with them during Christmas, just like I did for such a long time. Also, there weren't so much time to come here with them; moving to the new place in the middle of the term is never easy. Of course, Timmy adjusted immediately and already found new friends on the first day. I was, however, afraid for Gaila, but she seems to found her place in school society, too. Honestly, I think that on the personal ground, she may have found some kind of a soul mate. It's a little shocking because of her claims. Yes, I shouldn't draw hasty conclusions, but I think she gets along really well with Jimmy Roberts. I even suspect she has a crush on him, and Bud says that he's sure that his son has feelings for her. I feel really surprised that it completely doesn't worry me, especially that there are five and a half years between them. But if my suspicions are true, they have my blessing.

But, I started to digress. I know that you're not angry at me that I didn't visit you for such a long time, but I still feel like I should at least say sorry. And, I'm sure that meeting my children will compensate it to you. They really can't wait to come here. So, see you tomorrow, Dad.


End file.
